Mental health jokes

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Patient: Doctor, I get the feeling that people don't give a hoot about anything I say.
Psychiatrist: So?

Rating: 3.2 |

Three patients at a psychiatric clinic are up for release. The shrink informs them that they will have to pass a simple test. Asking the first patient:
Q. How much is two plus two?
A: Blue.

At which the kind doctor calls in the orderly to escort the patient back to his room.

Turning to the second patient, he asks what is six minus three? To which the patient replies: Square. Once again the orderly is called in to remove the patient. Turning to the third and last patient, he asks, "How much is five plus five?" The patient answers very confidentally: Ten. The doctor, amazed then inquires how did you figure it out? The patient: "Easy.Blue multiplied by square equals ten."

Rating: 2.4 |

How many Borderline P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. To threaten suicide if you don't change it for him/her.

Rating: 2.4 |

How many Obsessive-Compulsive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. But he has to check it 100 times, one for each watt.

Rating: 2.6 |

How many Passive Aggressive P.D. does to take to change a lightbulb?
Oops.I can't believe I broke the last one. I guess you'll have to sit in
the dark.

Rating: 3.4 |

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