Mental health jokes
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A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
He went there, lay on the couch, spilled his guts then waited for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make him feel better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and said, "Um, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is very common among losers."
Why did the witch go to the psychiatrist?
Because she thought everybody loved her.
Psychiatrist: Well, what's your problem?
Patient: I prefer brown shoes to black shoes.
Psychiatrist: There's nothing wrong with that. Lots of people prefer brown shoes to black shoes. I do myself.
Patient: Really? How do your like yours - fried or boiled?
What happens if you tell a psychiatrist you are schizophrenic?
He charges you double.
"The trouble is," said the entertainer to the psychiatrist, "that I can't sing, I can't dance, I can't tell jokes, I can't act, I can't play an instrument or juggle or do magic tricks or do anything!"
"Then why don't you give up show business?"
"I can't - I'm a star!"
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